9th day

Today I woke up in a particular state of mind. I always wake up in my mind, because for me to understand what is going on in the moment I wake up my mind must start to work and create, must be very interesting if one day I just wake up and I am in absolute silence, but it's not what happens to me, it's more like I wake up my perception of reality wakes up after that and then slowly I start look at it and its nature changes, sometimes it changes completely, that's when I am spired and powerfull and I open a lot of points, other times it changes partially, and I have an altered state of mind during the day, it's not an absolute mind state, but a mind state after all, and within that obviously I experiment no fredom to create solutions, the get out of the cages of perceptions and assumptions. And this in a moment changes when I listen to sunnete interviews or I see content of desteni or blogs, it brings me fredom! So I am gonna stop seeing content, to grow my own internal personal fredom, and I am gonna give more value to the interviews, like if they were gold that I can extract a lot of information from, that it's what they are.

So now I am thinking about what my talks in this blog are, in this moment of my life, they are a way of expressing words perceptions and sensations I have, as a mean for understanding what I am now, and create fredom from my own mind. I know that there is someone reading this, so you as a reader, I suppose that you in your existence when you read a blog you are waiting to find gold, to not waste your time, to find something that gives you a... something, it can be whatever, you are obviously not going to read something you dislikes. I'd like to share gold here, because even if this process is entirely done for myself, I feel that I am sharing part of it with the people that may read what I write, and I obviously would like that what I share is gold.         This I just expressed now it's something very interesting for me, because when I am being my mind and all that that means, I will only do things to find that energy, everything I do is for that, and that means that I come from a lack of something, the mind is never satisfied isn't it?..  I'd like to share gold because I suppose, that you are going after that when you do things in your life or read this blog, but what if the reader is a free person? Even if the person is free from the search of energy I described I think that he would never go after something he dislikes, it's like if I go I don't know... to watch jersey shore? But now that I am thinking about it, I would learn a lot from that tv program if I made the consciouss decition of seeing it,  the point is that I have better things to do. But I would learn from it!! It's not like it would be a complete waste of time. So if I am able to enjoy form jersey shore you are able to enjoy this blog if it doesn't matches your expectances of seeing a good blog.... omg

I just had to stop going that way, it's an absolute mind fuck up, to worry about what other people will think of me or perceive from what I create in my existence, I must change my perspective from create "good" so the other person involved in the communication gets what he expect to simply BEING HONEST. How did I allow myself to create a whole personality based on other people reactions emotions or perceptions...

What other person perceives of me is his own problem, my responsability is with myself, to remain honest, and the other person must be honest with himself too. Come if you feel like, don't come if not, but that is your problem. My only problem is to remain honest as myself.

Honesty is gold itself, but-stop-this-search-for-gold, specially if it's for other people


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