Fourth day

Hello all, today I am a bit tired, I didn't sleep very good and I woke up in a particular state of mind, that wasn't an impediment for me to question what is already happening in the moment and I am perceiving as "real", and to walk my process of liberation through the day. This happens to me every night, I would say I have changed a lot of dreaming and sleeping patterns I used to have in the past, but still obviously I find that everyday I wake up and I have to instantly check what is happening so my mind don't start creatining the matrix existence, where I think I know my relationship with my enviroment. So every night I have desires, I don't know the exact desires, but I know that my energies move a lot while I am sleeping while I am not there to watch, specially the sex energy, this one I find that is conected to a feeling of a desire to find the perfect partner, and I really hope that understand exactly what is sex about, what I really want to do, before I start a relationship with someone. I just feel that some day I am gonna find a very, very beautiful girl, and I know it's just sex, but I also know I will find a lot of beauty in that being, It's just more than me, if I ever find that being that is absolutely beautiful and that likes good music and those kind of things I know I won't be able to controll it and I will just go to show that being how beautiful I am and how happy I can make her. I walked the masturbation serie of eqafe, and I can see I have perfectly understood that, and I am walking it, and it is going much much more better than expected, but even if I understand what masturbation is, masturbation is conected to the sex system, and the sex system is a whole complex system of wanting a relationship and a lot of things I don't yet understand... that's why I am currently taking a look to the What is sex serie, and I hope I understand what is this overwhelming desire to find that woman with who I will create a relationship and share our lifes together, because I can say is just sex, but the beauty I will find in that woman is so stronge as the beauty I find in music, so good and right, so I really want to understand this, I think it's very important and powerful. I really respect a man who knows deep inside who he is as sex, and I want to be a complete pressence so I don't make things so subjetive when sex is involved.

Also, I have noticed a lot of new things that happen between the communication of humans beings, how consciouss or unconscioussly each other receive information in the communication about the other human beings, and how body language shows all the entire information, and you need to focus if you want to notice that information, and most importantly you must see the relationship between your mind and your body in this context, it's something very complex.


Some days I am full of inspiration, I am planning to use that to expand my limits when I face the key moments. For the moment, it's has been a big improvement for me to know who I am and feel that I don't change everyday, that there is a pressence of self directing what I am living, and taking care, and responsability.

I have taken this challence of bringing myself into life and I will do my best effort to expand my limits.

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